Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Randomize