Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
