In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
