Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
