If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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