Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
