did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
