what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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