Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
