just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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