There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
