You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
