I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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