it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
did you just send me my own nude
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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