There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize