I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Boobs speak an international language.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
