Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
not ubering you a puppy
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
