butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
