I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
