therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
