ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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