Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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