The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
