Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
