Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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