my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
