drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
