I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
