btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
