Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
