Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Small penises have feelings too.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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