Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Life is so much better after having sex.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
It's blow job season.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
All the doctor said was why
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
