Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
