The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
