I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Randomize
