New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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