'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Who did Billy Mays play for?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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