I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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