K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
