I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
