; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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