We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
