i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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