shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize