Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
