Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
