What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
