sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
