I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
