Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
