I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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