If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
