its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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