I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
My liver just had a heart attack.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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