We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm just crazy horny about you
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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