we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
