There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
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