Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
