I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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